I was fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Frankenstein at a Hollywood studio during a break in the filming of one of his movies. The interview took place on a back lot and Frankenstein was very gracious while he enjoyed a cigarette.

CASUAL OBSERVER: Thank you so much Mr. Frankenstein’s Monster for taking the time to talk with me.

FRANKENSTEIN: My pleasure, but just call me Frankenstein.

CO: I was always afraid of you but in real life you seem to be quite a pleasant fellow.

F: Well it’s my job to scare people. If I can’t do that I’d lose my job to Count Dracula, The Wolfman or some other B actor.

CO: It must take hours in makeup to get you ready for the camera.
F: Actually I just come in as I am.

CO: What’s with the flat head? I never understood that.

F: I’ve complained about that many times to my ‘body mechanic’ and he refuses to address it. All he needs to do is get a hold of a normal round scull and make the switch. How difficult is that?

CO: Well not to be judgmental, but while we are on the subject, your feet have what… five or six inch soles?

F: Actually they are six and a half. I like them. Makes me more intimidating as well as giving me a better view on crowded sidewalks.

CO: What about your clothes? Where do you find outfits in your size?

F: I have a tailor make them. I can’t go into a store because everyone screams and runs out.

CO: You were brought to life with a very strong electrical charge to those … those things on your neck.

F: My bolts, yes.

CO: It must have hurt.

F: No, I was unconscious at the time.

CO: Your brain came from where exactly?

F: It was from a medical research laboratory. My fans know that it belonged to a man named Abbey Normal.

CO: Why do you grunt and growl instead of just talking just like we are during this interview?

F: Well, I developed that technique as a method actor. I really had nothing important to communicate so the grunts and growls added to my character’s persona.

CO: One last thing if you don’t mind me saying so, but cigarettes are bad for your health. They could kill you.

F: Haaaa. Not Me.