I borrowed my friend’s time machine again and this time I went back to Mt. Vernon, Va. to talk to former President George Washington.

Casual Observer: “ Mr. President, thanks for granting me this interview.”
George Washington: “My pleasure.”

CO: “There are many history books that have been written about you and your presidency, so I just want to have some clarification on some folklore about you. For instance, why did you chop down the cherry tree?”
GW: “I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down that cherry tree.”
CO: “We know that. I want to know why?”
GW: “The tree was full of ripe cherries and I was afraid of heights, so I chopped it down to get at the cherries.”
CO: “Why not just have one of your staff climb up and get them?”
GW: “Then I wouldn’t be famous for not lying.”

CO: “Is it true that you have wooden teeth?”
GW: “I cannot tell a lie, yes I have wooden teeth.”
CO: “How do you keep them clean?”
GW: “Sandpaper.”
CO: “How does your wife feel about them?”
GW: “She thought they were horrid until I had them painted white and lacquered.”
CO: “In the future your picture is on the $1 bill and the 25 cent piece. Ben Franklin is on the $100 bill. Does that bother you?”
GW: “Actually not. It emphasizes that I was the first president. Ben had a huge ego. He asked me if he should run for president and I told him to go fly a kite.”

CO: “Is it true that you threw a silver dollar across the Potomac River?”
GW: “I cannot tell …”
CO: “PLEASE stop saying that. We’ve established that you don’t lie. Enough already.”
GW: “ OK. Yes I did. In fact I also threw a silver dollar across the Delaware River.”

CO: “Let’s talk about that Delaware crossing. The famous painting makes it look like you were crossing the Atlantic Ocean. Overly dramatic. I know that section of the Delaware and I can canoe across it in five minutes.”
GW: “Well that was my press officer’s idea. He called it a ‘Painting Op’ for posterity. An artist was in a boat alongside us. He told me to stand up and look forward. He did a quick sketch and painted it later.”

CO: Last question, why were you crossing the Delaware?”
GW: “To get my silver dollar back.”