A friend of mine invented a time machine and he lets me borrow it occasionally.
I chose to visit prehistoric England, because that is the only language I can speak, and met with a ‘Cave Man,’ for lack of a better term.
He and his family lived in a somewhat comfortable cave with a fire burning at the center, drawings on the walls and rocks to sit on.
Casual Observer (CO): Hi, my name is Rob and I appreciate you taking the time for this interview.
Cave Man: Sure, Rob. My name is Zub, my wife is Zubi and we have two sons Zuba and Zubo.
CO: What do you do for a living?
Zub: I hunt and my wife gathers.
CO: I see you have discovered how to make fire.
Zub: We don’t know how to make fire. We found a tree that was hit by lightning and caught fire. We dragged it into the cave and keep it going with dry twigs. You know how to make fire?
CO: We use matches.
Zub: How do you make matches?
CO: I have no idea. Do you know that the world is round?
Zub: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
CO: Is Stonehenge near here?
Zub: Yes, as a matter of fact it is just about two kilometers from here.
CO: Wow! Do you know how it was made?
Zub: Yes, but if I told you I would have to kill you.
CO: Do you have the wheel?
Zub: No, but we are working on it.
CO: Do you have any neighbors?
Zub: Yes. One guy stays home and makes bows and arrows. I use them to hunt and we split up the food. The guy in the next cave over from him is a Real Estate Agent.
CO: Do you have a form of currency?
Zub: The stream near here has small pieces of gold we pan for. We have bagfuls of it but nothing to spend it on.
CO: I notice the art on the cave walls. Who did the paintings?
Zub: My wife. She took some art classes at the Adult School, said she needed to get out of the cave once in a while. She mostly paints animals but those
people with the oversized heads and oval eyes land here in spaceships from time to time.
CO: Well, This has been a lot of fun. Can I visit again sometime?
Zub: Sure. Hey, can you bring some matches next time? I’ll give you a bag of gold for them.
CO: OK, that sounds fair.
