I met Floyd Lawson one day. He was my favorite personality on The Andy Griffith Show because

of his voice and funny facial expressions. Cutting my hair was out of the question, but I asked him to reminisce about Mayberry and the characters on the show. I let him talk without interruption and categorized his memories as follows:

The Town of Mayberry

  “Mayberry, oh yeah oh a nice town, yeah but a bit too quiet and not very diverse like big cities, oh, oh no. It’s a shame. Not very much to do here. I like to think my barber shop was the most popular place in town to congregate though, oh yeah.”

Sheriff Andy Taylor

  “Oooo Andy yeah. He dates Helen Crump, you know. Fine woman oooh very pretty. A good sheriff. Not Helen you know but Andy is. He’s a friend to everyone but sometimes he’s a bit, well like a know-it-all, oh oh yeah. Nice legs, too, oooooh. Not Andy, I mean Helen oooooh.”

Deputy Barney Fife

  “Barney would give you the shirt off his back, you know, but he’s a bit of a ’Nervous Nelly’ yeah oh yeah. He could never replace Andy, oh no. Too jumpy and high strung. He looks like Mick Jagger to me.”

Aunt Bee

  “Everyone Loves Aunt Bee and her cooking, except her pickles, they’re awful. Yes, yes they are. She’s another ‘Worry Wart’ as well, oooh yeah. Always complaining about something.”

Gomer and Goober

  “Well intentioned boys but when God gave out ‘brains’ they thought He said ‘trains’ and they both took s-l-o-w ones. Haaaaa, that’s a joke, get it? They wanted a slow train but got slow brains instead. Very funny oh, oh yeah. I’m kinda clever.”

Opie Taylor

  “Opie is a good kid but he always struggles to make the right decisions, but Andy always straightens him out, oh, oh yeah. But Opie is getting tired of all the lectures, he certainly is. I told him he should just leave Mayberry, go to Hollywood and become a movie director, really, really, oooooh, oh yeah.”