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Heavenly Fixer

 

Brenda DeLauder Columnist

  She calls me the “fixer.” To her I am always trying to fix things and sometimes there is no possible repair. It is probably one of my greatest challenges in life, but one which has recently taken me on a different journey.

  Somehow I have always felt my job in life was to fix whatever appeared to be wrong and if I couldn’t do so, I became frustrated or felt guilty because I wasn’t helping enough. In trying to spend more time listening to God each day, I have finally come to realize there are indeed things I can fix, but there are things I cannot and it’s okay! It is true, no matter our age, we can still learn.

  A dear friend of mine was helping me come to terms with a problem and sent me an envelope containing various phrases to think upon. One said, “My Lord, how is it You command things that seem impossible . . . ?” How accurate that question has been and what a tremendous help it has become in accepting what I cannot change. There have even been moments when I realized a change wasn’t needed, or at least not the one I envisioned.

  When something is working well, then suddenly a problem causes it to come to a screeching halt, it can appear as needing immediate help to correct it. Granted sometimes it’s a shame for such things to happen, but not every time. By first stopping to pray about it, seeking the wisdom from our Lord, we may find the best solution is to do nothing. Picture it as a roadblock, forcing a change in the path we are traveling. Looking back, we often see how the problem became the catalyst for something wonderful later on in our journey.

  My Daddy called me stubborn, but I always considered it “determined.” I don’t like to be a quitter and if there is something to be done, I should do it. That can be a really good attitude to have, but it can also be the wrong attitude. Recently after struggling with a tough concern, I came to the conclusion it was time to move past it, so I went to Jesus and said “Here Lord, please fix this because I can’t.” At that moment I’m fairly certain I heard the Hallelujah Chorus being sung by the Majestic Choir in my head, followed by a great lifting of my spirit. Finally, I accepted there was something I could not do and better yet, I took it to the only One who could, our Heavenly Fixer.

  Finding the balance is probably the hardest part for me. Which challenges do I take on and which should I hand over and walk away from? The answer to that is to wait on God. Without fail, if there is more for me to do, I will know it. Of course there are times I catch myself trying to take it back so I can worry over it. It is then I reach out to Jesus and say, “It is still Yours, Lord. Please help me leave it alone.” I’m so thankful He loves me even when I stumble.

  The desire in me to fix things has not ended and I don’t believe that is what God wants. I am however, learning to “fine tune” this urge, by truly accepting there are some things impossible for me to do, then freely giving them to God. In doing so, the impossible becomes possible. When I leave my worries with Him, I find more time to focus on other things, like praying for peace. Thy will be done, Lord. Thy will be done.

 

 Brenda Nail DeLauder is a native of Henry County. Her heart remains in her hometown.

 

 

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