Pam Ward Humor Columnist

**I decided last week after confessing to being a singer that I’d like to be a songwriter too. It’s amazing to me how easy it was to write this whole entire song! I think ya’ll will love it. (How could you not?)

  Anyway, without further ado, let me introduce ya’ll to my song. It’s called “Broke as a Joke.”

“Broke as a Joke” Sung to the tune of “All my Ex’s live in Texas” by George Straight. (Not really, I just wanted to say that. Actually I don’t have a tune yet but I think it’s got a bluesy feel to it...)

 

Oh, I’m so broke!

Broke as a joke, I’m broke!

I’m poor...

How can I get more?

MONEY MONEY MONEY!

I sho’ don’t want no Honey!

But his paycheck would be so sweeeeeet.

 

Got no groceries...

I got no food...

Just a dented can of storebrand mushroom soup.

What can I do?

I’m washing clothes in cheap shampoo...

 

But I’ve got hope

That I’ll be okay...

Cuz payday’s just sixteen days away!

 

The cats have their super supper;

They’re eatin’ better than me!

I see them laughing at me

When they think I can’t see!

 

Oh! I got no money money money!

No paper towels for wiping up my spills...

All I got’s a dingy dishrag...

And it’s a layin’ in my window sill.

(And it’s kinda startin’ to smell...

But that’s a secret so don’t ya’ll tell...)

 

But I’ve got hope!

That I’ll be okay...

Cuz payday’s just sixteen days away!

 

Ohhh!  I’ve got a pile of dirty laundry

That’s taller than 2 and ½ feet...

I’m thinkin’ I’ll toss a blanket over it

And use it for guests to sleep!

SERTA ain’t got nothin’ on me!

 

Ohhh! The cats have their super supper,

The dog has her Alpo chunks...

Half a bag of rice in my pantry...

I might just call it lunch!

 

Ohhhh! But I’ve got hope...

That I’ll be ok

Cuz payday’s just sixteen days away!

 

(*Bridge:)

In case you’re wondering why

I decided to make this rhyme,

I thought I might just try...

I think it’s called “freestyle”...

It’s words that almost rhyme

And ya hum a tune behind...

Some mindless words in a line

To get stuck in your mind...

Cuz in this day and time

You can make yo’self a dime

In practically no time...

Then I wouldn’t have the issue

Of running out of toilet tissue

14 days before pay day...

 

Ohhhh!!  But I’ve got hope!

I’ll be ok!

Cuz payday’s just sixteen days away!    (*FADE...)

 

THE END